How To Spend Your President's Day

Wake up like at 8 a.m. then realize it's still early and go back to sleep. Be scared you might struggle falling asleep again but don't. Wake up again like at 10:43. Try go to back to sleep, but it's 10:43 so you don't. Check your email/Facebook/Twitter on your cellphone without getting out of bed. Think about how you would've maybe liked to go to that party last night. It seems like everyone had fun. So many inside jokes you won't get. So many memories that will be talked about for like 1~2 days. And you weren't a part of it. You're part of nothing.

Feel like you miss going to parties and getting drunk and making out with people. But then remember that's how you became the lonely person you are today. Maybe you shouldn't have gone to parties and got drunk and made out with people to begin with. That's not really 'who you are'. Maybe you're more like the type to have a bottle of Absolut vodka in his room and drink it with orange juice alone at night, then watch some stuff on Netflix.

Browse the web for another hour. Read the newest article on Thought Catalog and watch some cat videos. At 11:51 realize it's 11:51 and you haven't had breakfast. You're not hungry. But you have a lot of time so you decide to make some fancy breakfast. You deserve it. Google "easy breakfast recipes". They all look very tedious and like they will take a long time. You have no time to waste so you settle for French toast with caramelized bananas that you learned from your friend who is a chef the day before, after you came back from riding bikes.

Get out of bed at 12:01 and go to the kitchen. Remember how sore you are from riding bikes. Remember how you almost passed out yesterday because you were so out of shape. Make breakfast and go back to your room to eat while watching season four of Heroes. Drink some coffee. Spend the next 5~7.5 hours half-heartedly doing stuff on the internet. Occasionally begin other tasks but never really finish them. Hope somebody would visit you.

All through the day, think broadly of things like sushi, morals, weed, negativity, hope/hopelessness, super powers, boobs, making out, blogs/blogging, cheese, bacon, any combination of cheese and bacon, truth, green eyes, a county fair, 'being hornie', being lonely, peeing, maps, ghosts, sex, Nutella, crabs and other things.

Work out at night. 50 pushups and 50 crunches. Five sets of ten. Shower. Shave. Go to bed around 10 and spend the next two hours on the internet. Try to go to sleep at midnight, but you probably won't be able to because you're not tired. You didn't do anything all day. Another day gone to waste.

How To Not Care About Anything (Or Give Off The Impression That You Don't)

Not caring about stuff is a vital part of living a numb, neutral life. Not caring about stuff can get you through (the toughest moments of your) life. It's like if you had cancer. Cancer is painful. Life is painful. Cancer = life. According to some study, the best way to get through cancer is by numbing your pain. Drugs numb your pain. Not caring numbs your pain. Drugs = not caring. The best way to get through life is by not caring (being on drugs).

Do not confuse lack of care for not being informed. Be aware of everything around you, the net. Knowing what's happening around you is the best way to determine the things you won't care about. Undoubtedly, the easiest part about not caring about stuff is not caring about the factual concrete things that are right in front of you. It's easy to walk past a dead body. It's easy to not donate a quarter of a dollar to HIV people. It's easy to turn your head the other way when facing something you're 'supposed to care (feel something) about'. This will 'lay the foundation' for the hardest part of not caring about stuff.

The hardest part about not caring about stuff is not caring about your own feelings. As backwards as it may seem, not caring about your own feelings is the most selfish thing a person can do. By not caring about your own feelings and thoughts for the sake of easing your life by relieving yourself of the whole 'feeling feelings' thing, you are completely cutting off chances of getting hurt. You're diminishing whatever importance feelings held once before in your life. Anger. Happiness. Love. Sadness. All the feelings you once felt have now became a mega (lack of) feeling. Bleakness. Bleakness will allow you to ignore your own feelings and not get hurt.

Time will pass, you will feel less and less everyday. Your life will be bleaker. You won't be happy, or sad, or angry, or lovely. You will be bleak. "Life in Bleak" would be a good title for a book. "Back to Bleak" can be a good title for a sophomore album that will let some people down, but if you stick around you'll be satisfied when "4eaea Bleak" is released. The band's third album, a crowning achievement of bleakness. A whole bunch of nothing.

When living a bleak life you will sometimes feel like you feel like you're a shell of a person. But you won't care. You'll wanna scream all the time. You will feel like you feel very lonely, more than lonely really. Alienated. You will not be able to relate to any-one/thing because you don't remember how to feel (empathy). You will feel like you feel like you're trapped in your own life. You will wake up every morning and think "It's a nice day for the world to end." You will feel like a rat sometimes. You will spend hours in front of your computer, doing pointless things. 'Interacting' with other bleak people online. Like if you put two robots in a room. They will share information. They will share what they think are their feelings. They will share what they think are their fears. They will share their deepest secrets, without really knowing the other robot. Only because it is the only thing they know how to do. Bitch. And because they're that alone. Not because they care, or feel pain. But because when you don't feel feelings, it's the only thing you can really do to feel like you feel again. But you're walking in circles. You're a recycling bin. You're eating your own shit. But at least you won't feel.

Can robots friend other robots?