Another One Bites the Dust

Oh Jesus Christ, I just read my first post. Why do I always feel like what I write is horrible? Well not necessarily horrible, but I feel like the message I'm trying to convey never really does, which is quite frustrating. But according to my English teacher that's normal in a writer. Anywhoozzle, talking about school... I'm fucking done with it. Yes, yes, yes. I know it's a long process, and in the end it'll pay off, and all that good shit. But really, it just makes me really very unhappy knowing I have to return to class the next day. And it's not even about the class being hard or anything of that sort, it's just the fact that without a stupid College degree we are nothing. Its the fact that we are constantly getting fucked hard, in the ass, by the system. Four years of your life, wasted. After those four years you get your degree, and realize you're broke, still jobless, and alone. Probably after that will come a few months of bumming around until you find a somewhat decent job, which by the way probably doesn't involve your College degree or if you're really lucky, it won't even need a College degree at all.

There's probably very little we can do about this fact. That's just the way it is. But it's things like this that make me wonder. Is it really worth it? Fitting in, and being part of this whole circus. Lately, the thought of dropping out has been going through my mind. I've told my friends and of course their instant reaction is that of "What the fuck are you saying?" or "Are you high? No wait, you ARE high!" It's just that I feel that life is meant to be enjoyed (since I don't believe in an afterlife). It's your only chance to do whatever you want to do. And do you really wanna spend your whole life wasting your chances to really take advantage of what could've been?

Hello, My Name Is...

Hello, my name is Francisco, but let's just call me Pancho, it's easier and shorter to remember. Man you should see the look of the people at Starbucks when they ask my name and I reply with my long tedious name. Anyways, I arrive to this space trying to escape some troubles I have brought upon myself. Just as a warning, very little of what I'll be posting here is gonna make sense to some of you out there, which is fine, I really don't mind, I never have. So with that said, very doubtfully will I be posting poems or stuff of that sort that I have written. I want this to be sort of a one sided conversation, but of course feedback is well received too. I just need to find a way to go back to sanity, forget a little.

I enjoy perception enhancing experiences, hint mind altering substances. I believe they are the only way to reveal one's true self. When you're under the influence, all the things you have been taught to believe are no longer part of reality. One's able to see the world through so many other different eyes and feel, in a way, like part of a whole. To me, this truly is the most rewarding, life changing experience in a lifetime. However, the aftermath can be intimidating and even dangerous. It is important to be prepared.

I decided to create a blog for mere rehabilitation purposes. And I certainly don't mean drugs, but more of a mental rehabilitation. I don't know what is real anymore. And I hate sounding like another depressed, lost in life, too much thinking and too much time in his hands teenager, but this is greater than that. Its about finding myself... No, I know myself. More like finding what's around me, finding where we went wrong, and finding what is real.

Thanks for listening. Much love.