everyday
i feel more and more like
my whole life is an inside joke with myself
my sadness is funnie

and i am waiting for a person that will get it
but no one does

it feels stupid
that i shouldn't be troubled by everything

i used to smoke weed and feel good
but not anymore
now i drink
it doesn't make me feel good
or bad
it just makes me not feel

i think i need to leave
everything