Monday, March 7, 2011

5 Things You Can Do That Will Make You Feel Better (at Least Momentarily) When You're Feeling Like Shit

In order from effective/more dangerous side effects to effective/relatively no dangerous side effects.

5. Become more stupid/care less
I'm a firm believer that numbing your feelings can be very beneficial/counterproductive and can help you get past problems/become so self aware that you cease to feel genuine emotions. By becoming stupid, you become like everyone else. Stupid people are people only because they are biologically active, that's their only relevant 'human attribute'. Stupid people are everywhere, they are dumb by choice and live happier lives than the non-stupid. 'Ignorance is bliss'. By disassociating yourself from any thing/one that may cause you despair, you are courageously running away from the source of the problem because you can't win and you're tired. You must be careful though, when choosing to become stupid or stop caring because you will feel great (for a while). (For a while) You will feel great and think "Wow. By not caring I am able to live 'happy' because nothing affects me. Why did I barely start not caring?". And suddenly, you realize that you can't feel anymore. Any value any feeling once had has disappeared into the bleakness of your life. You try to remember what genuine feeling felt like but you can't remember, feeling is not something you can 'remember'. You will probably spend the rest of your life attempting to relate to others and trying to feel again, but you will fail. You will only feel like you feel like you're relating to others and feel like you feel again. But you really won't.

4. Write things
"Writing is the key to understanding yourself" said some dude on his blog, trying to sound all meaningful and deep. It is not clear how 'deep' and 'meaningful' this dude really is, but writing really can help you understand yourself when you're in the dark abyss of depression. Being able to eloquently place your ideas into written words is good for the socially awkward; those who struggle to connect words into sentences IRL, in real time. Writing allows you the freedom of stopping/taking time to put meaning behind your words before the sentence is finished. It took me 5 minutes to structure the meaning I wanted to convey in/with my words in the previous sentence, but I was able to say exactly what I wanted you to understand. Sometimes you can get too comfortable writing everything down. You feel like you don't need the world, and that's fine with you consciously. But after some time you'll subconsciously start to feel like the world doesn't need you. That will bother you. But you can just stop writing and go outside and you will probably be okay.

3. Drugs
Bob your head from side to side while humming a nostalgic 80's sounding synth pop song. Be outside and see the sun and things that are outside usually. You will feel good for like 1 1/2 - 2 hours. You won't worry and will feel calm. You'll get really hungry probably, but you'll be fine. Drugs don't really hurt anyone, well not all. They can certainly harm you, though most of that harm is probably psychological when you get 'addicted'. What is even worse though, is getting 'over' drugs. When they're not making you bob your head from side to side while humming a nostalgic 80's sounding synth pop song. When you don't wanna be outside and see the sun and other things that are outside usually. When you 'get over' drugs you're running out of options. 'Burning bridges' or whatever.

2. Have meaningless sex with someone
'What a better way to forget your sorrows than by having meaningless sex with someone?' Having sex is fun. Having fun will usually make you feel better, at least an orgasm will. There's really no other way I could explain why having meaningless sex with someone can make you feel better. In a bizarrely twisted parallel dimension, having meaningless sex with someone will make you feel worse. Having (a lot of) sex (with a lot of people) just to make yourself feel better may cause you to forget the connection between emotions and sexual drive. You will want to have sex with someone to feel happy, and you do. But after it, you realize it's not what you want/need to make you happy. But that's okay because you got a nut, felt on some boobs and nobody got hurt. You'll just go back to where you were before.

1. Binge eat
The kind of happiness you get from binge eating is a different/subconscious happiness. When you're eating you don't really know you're happy, but you are. Get a couple of generic branded snack bags and eat like 10 of them, almost forgetting you've been eating them all night. 'Blackout eat'. It is only after you stop eating that you realize you felt happy eating... well maybe not happy but 'mild'. Eating makes you feel good without you knowing. So anything you eat will make you 'mild', but not all will satisfy you. Binge eating actually sets the standard for satisfaction up so high that it is very hard to truly feel 'satisfied' after eating food for 4 hours. You eat out of boredom. But that's fine because you'll be alright as long as you keep eating.

(You may replace 'binge eat', 'binge eating' 'eating' for 'buy things', 'buying things' and 'buying' to get a new thing you can do to make yourself feel better (at least momentarily) when you're feeling like shit)

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